Breaking the one resolution I was trying the hardest to keep

Well, I kept one of my resolutions for 13 days. Not even two weeks. That's horrible!

The worse part about it, it was the resolution I have been trying the hardest to work on, #9 Yell Less and be more calm with my kids.

My husband and I have 5 kids. I have four and he has one. That one is a teenager.... A boy teenager.... He's 14, so that means he is in his 2nd year of teens....

If you've never had a teenager, let me educate you. 

Girls, are probably the worse and by far the most expensive. You have emotions, feelings, dances, boyfriends, looks, clothes, prom, pictures, image, and the list goes on... Plus I feel that they secretly dye their hair another color from blonde. Not downing blondes but we all know the saying. Teen age girls loose their ability to think clearly or rather they loose all common sense. I've had 2. I'm a pro at teenage girls, and we all lived thru it.

Now to boys. Boys start caring about their appearance more (thank goodness) but they still don't have to have outrageously expensive clothes. They care a little more about girls and their social life. They also acquire this immediate knowledge...so they know everything. 

EVERYTHING! 

You can't tell them anything. Which girls are the same. With that knowledge they become giant smart mouths.

And this is where my temper takes over my resolution.

Yesterday was the worse day to have with the kids. WORSE! 

Unfortunately, #5 has the same attitude and mouth as #3, except he's only 7. I can't WAIT for him to be a teenager. (sarcasm)

Tuesday at our house is trash day. With 4 kids in the house, most of the time, we rotate who does what. Yesterday was #2 and #3's turn. Number two really doesn't even live here anymore but she was here long enough to get nominated to do trash duty. That way #3 didn't have to do it all by himself.  One child takes all the trashes out; two bathrooms, computer room, kitchen, and whatever else needs to go. The other child rolls the trash can to the street. If you took out one week, the next week you get to roll. 

Now the younger ones, #4 & #5 do not live here all the time. Their father and I have joint custody so we have them every other 2 days. This was our weekend. 

Thursday, #3 emptied the dishwasher...and it was a fight!

Friday, #4 emptied the dishwasher, and feed the dog.

Saturday, #4 took out the trash and feed the dog.

Sunday, #4 & #5 emptied the dishwasher; #4 helped cook, and feed the dog.

Monday, #2 and friend emptied the dishwasher.

Do you see a pattern here? Number three hasn't done anything since Thursday. So it shouldn't be such a big deal for him to do anything right?

WRONG! You could never be so wrong!!!

When he get's in from school and wonders around for a few minutes, I tell him to take trashes out and feed the dog.

His reply, "of course". Not in a nice tone either.

This was at 4:04. 

4:20 you hear him complaining about how much trash needs to be taken out.

4:30, #2 comes back from the longest Taco Bell run ever (that's a whole other post) and says she's taking down the trash. #3 screams that he hasn't finished all the trash. Now he's not gonna finish it if she takes it down. She's only doing it because he hasn't done his part yet. 

Ok...he's had almost 30 minutes to get it done and it's the same distance by the garage or by the road...we live in town...not a long country road.  

I tell him to go get it done then. He leaves and comes back and yells that he can never do any laundry. My dryer takes forever so I still have clothes in the washer. He tells me that he is not doing the trash until the washer is emptied.

EXCUSE ME?

I keep my calm and tell him to just go finish what he is suppose to do.

5:15, all the trash is still not done and you hear the poor dog trying to break down the door to be feed. Number three comes in the kitchen wrapped in his blanket. I tell him to go get his stuff done. 

"I'm hungry". 

"Ok, you've been home over an hour, get your stuff done and you can eat. Actually, go get it done and when you get back I'll have all the leftovers pulled out so you can warm something up."

"You can't even get the clothes off the washer, what makes you think you'll pull the food out!"

I'm done! I can't keep my calm anymore. I start yelling but not down right screaming. 

He walks out of the room, changes clothes and goes to get the bathroom trash. 

"There's not a bag in this trash." 

"Just dump it in a bag." I've taken 2 breaths by this point...

"People need to learn to do their chores right in this house!"

I am keeping my mouth shut while I thinking of all the times I had to dump trash out of a can because HE didn't put a bag in it.

Now he is singing a song about not putting a trash bag in the can. 

"It's not that big of deal, you've done it too." 

I can feel my temper slowly boiling. 

Another comment, then another, then another, then another.... I can't take it anymore.

I starting screaming. Not just normal screaming, the kind of screaming that you feel every muscle in your face tighten up as you're scream each word.

"SHUT UP!"

Another comment... SHUT UP... another comment. 

I'm so done at this point. I yell at #2 to help me carry out the trash from the garage, that I wasn't gonna to even try to ask #3 to take out. She knows I'm mad so she says nothing but jumps up and helps.

As we're walking to the trash can I can feel the tears. Now they flow... I've tried so hard to keep my cool, not to be loud, to be fair...but it doesn't matter.

Sadly, there is absolutely no support from my husband. If I was to say anything about it, it would just start a fight between us...again. But I know if anyone of my children talked to him like that, he would not tolerate it and I would never hear the end of it. The difference...he doesn't have to say anything cause I don't allow it either!

I leave for #5's basketball practice. Crying the entire time it takes to get there. Gather myself and walk in.

Practice is going fine until the very end. We start to scrimmage and #5 throws a fit and walks off the court. I don't tolerate that...go home! I tell him to take his scrimmage jersey off and go home. He starts screaming at me. Go home...still screaming. 

I've already put up with one attitude today that I can do absolutely nothing about...I refuse to take it from my child. I grab him by the hand to walk him off the court and he flops down. I drag him to the bathroom with him kicking, screaming, and grabbing onto rails and everything. I can feel the heat in my face and I loose my cool....again. I spanked him one time because I was so upset I was afraid I would loose control. I yell at him and send him out.

After I make him apologize to his other coaches and team, he leaves. Then I leave...crying...again. 

I finally find my husband around 9:30 but I don't want to ruin his evening just yet so I mention nothing. When we finally get home together, guess what is waiting in the walk way of the kitchen...in the middle of the walk way...the computer and bathroom trashes that were not taken out. 

Really? 

I mean..Really? 

To make matters worse, my husband walks around it without saying a thing. 

This morning when I get up, #3 is already up and dressed...but the trash is still sitting there. I make coffee and iron the husband's clothes. Allowing Satan to win again...I tell my husband, "I'm not walking around that trash all day. Just because he wants to give ultimatums before he does anything." 

Laughter....that's what I get. Not a question or comment...just laughter with attitude. 

Laughter after the day I had. Laughter after the hurt I had. Laughter that I feel your child shows me no respect. Laughter...

After everyone leaves this morning, I get up to start my day. In this house, where, like most moms/wives I feel disrespected. The difference, I'm really not wanted here. If I left today, my husband and his son would probably celebrate. But I stay. Not so much by choice, but I still stay. One reason is because we're married. We are suppose to work thru the good and the bad. One of my husbands, #3 and #5 down falls if it doesn't go right...just quit.

I'm not a quitter. 

Though I feel sometimes that if my husband had my back more, it wouldn't be this hard. We wouldn't argue as much. Our marriage would be calmer. Sadly, this is something we will probably never know. 

I want to discipline my children.


Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.
Proverbs 13:24 New Living Translation

I love my children.
ALL of them.
I want to be a good mother and step parent.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

But I want to remain calm while doing it. Find another way to be on their level.  Stopping for 3 seconds before reacting, (The 3-second pause). But with their respect too.

I really want to fix one thing about myself this year, and it's not loose my cool with my kids...any of them. 

Now to start over. Not to give up. Just like an alcoholic who falls off the wagon. Take it one day at a time.

Santa knows this is the hardest thing I will ever be able to change about myself. He gives me struggles each day to fight...And for 13 days...I beat him. 

Number 3 keeps screaming at the TV and walking around eating (big pet peeve) and making random smart comments.

But I breath and say nothing....

Day One.

Valentine's Day Table Setting

I love to decorate for different holidays. Especially my kitchen table. 

Unfortunately, as most of you may know, if you have more than one child, you can usually only decorate a table...for a day.

So for that one day, I will enjoy it!

I have a friend who has a table setting for almost every holiday and I absolutely love them. 

Some of her settings are china and because one of my resolutions is to "save money", I'm not going to buy any china soon. 

Because #5 is half Tasmanian devil, I'm not sure I can have "glasses" either. They need to be plastic. Actually, my plates and bowls would have to be plastic too....

The Dollar Tree has really cute dish ware to make something similar to the ones she has. The napkin holders look hand made so you will have to get creative on those. The table cloth is so cute and you could get creative with this too. Look for see-threw material at Jo-Ann's or Hancock's. Then add the ribbon around the edges. 

Here are some of her other table settings. I told you they were cute!

Easter

Summer

Fall

Christmas

Do you have some really creative settings you would like to share? I would love to see everyone's different ideas.

Menu Madness Jan 11-18

This use to be called "Menu Monday" but because I'm starting it on Sunday...it's just madness.

Hopefully I am giving you enough time to show this weekend for the menu on Sunday.

I post the links to the original sites if you want to see the source.

Here is your list that you should have on hand just in case you want to make it all on one day. I will try to post next weeks shopping list. It's so much easier to cook with what you have then to realize what you are out of.

• Sunday
  I usually don't post breakfast items but I wanna try these.

         

Wannabe Famous Donuts

These just look really easy and good!

original recipe found on Allrecipes.com
adapted by From Cupboard to Cupboard
2 (.25 ounce) envelopes active dry yeast (or 2 Tablespoons)

1/4 cup warm water (105 to 115 degrees)
1 1/2 cups lukewarm milk
1/2 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1/3 cup shortening
5 cups all-purpose flour
1 quart vegetable oil for frying
  For the glaze:           

1/3 cup butter
2 cups confectioners' sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
4 tablespoons hot water or as needed

Directions
Sprinkle the yeast over the warm water, and let stand for 5 minutes, or until foamy.
In a large bowl, mix together the yeast mixture, milk, sugar, salt, eggs, shortening, and 2 cups of the flour. Mix for a few minutes at low speed, or stirring with a wooden spoon. Beat in remaining flour 1/2 cup at a time, until the dough no longer sticks to the bowl. Knead for about 5 minutes, or until smooth and elastic. Place the dough into a greased bowl, and cover. Set in a warm place to rise until double. Dough is ready if you touch it, and the indention remains.
Turn the dough out onto a floured surface, and gently roll out to 1/2 inch thickness. Cut with a floured doughnut cutter. Let doughnuts sit out to rise again until double. Cover loosely with a cloth.
Melt butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Stir in confectioners' sugar and vanilla until smooth. Remove from heat, and stir in hot water one tablespoon at a time until the icing is somewhat thin, but not watery. Set aside.
Heat oil in a deep-fryer or large heavy skillet to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Slide doughnuts into the hot oil using a wide spatula. Turn doughnuts over as they rise to the surface. Fry doughnuts on each side until golden brown. Remove from hot oil, to drain on a wire rack. Dip doughnuts into the glaze while still hot, and set onto wire racks to drain off excess. Keep a cookie sheet or tray under racks for easier clean up.

         For Dinner:
          *Indian Tacos with homemade Salsa.
             I'm making the whole 5lb ground beef. I'll post the recipe tomorrow.

• Monday
  *FFYS (Fend for yourself aka leftovers)
• Tuesday
  *Easy Taco Casserole
    This came from a Heather Paquette Dexheimer Facebook. Recipe to follow.
• Wednesday
  *Pizza Nachos

GARLIC CREAM SAUCE:
1-½ Tablespoon Unsalted Butter

½ Tablespoons Olive Oil
3 cloves Garlic, Minced (or Use A Microplane If You Have It)
½ cups Heavy Cream
¼ cups 2% Milk
1 pinch Salt
1 pinch Cracked Black Pepper
1 pinch Red Pepper Flakes
¼ cups Parmesan Cheese, Grated

NACHOS:

Your Favorite Crispy Tortilla Chips
Garlic Cream Sauce (Recipe Included)
¼ cups Onion, Diced
½ cups Pepperoni, Cut Into Bite Size Pieces (I used mini pepperoni)
1- 1½ cups Colby-Jack Cheese, Shredded
Optional-½ cups Black Olives Sliced, ½ whole Green Bell Pepper, Seeds Removed, Diced, mushrooms, any pizza topping of your choice

Instructions 

Start by making your sauce - Begin by melting the butter, along with the olive oil on medium to low heat

Once melted, toss in the minced garlic, and give a good stir
Raise the heat up to medium, to medium-high
Add in the cream and milk and give a good stir
Keep stirring until it comes to a boil. Toss in the salt, pepper, and chili flakes, along with the parmesan cheese, and continue stirring (The sauce will thicken pretty quick, so continue to stir)
Once the sauce is thickened, remove from the burner, and set aside
When you are ready to make your nachos, preheat your oven to 400ºF
Build your nachos on an oven-proof dish
First add your chips
Drizzle the garlic cream sauce all over the chips
Top with the onions and pepperoni (and other pizza toppings of your choice, such as olives and bell pepper)
Make sure you get in there and do some great layering, leaving no chip behind
Top with the Colby Jack cheese
Place in the preheated oven, and cook until the cheese is nice and bubbly and the veggies are warmed through, roughly 7 minutes or so

• Thursday
  *Pork Steak
  *Creamy Garlic Pasta (THIS IS SO GOOD)Ingredients
  1 lb angel hair pasta
  (3) 14.5 oz cans of chicken broth
  2 cups of whipping cream
  1/2 cup grated parmesan
  2 tbsp butter
  1 tsp minced garlic
  chopped parsley for garnish
  Instructions
  Melt butter in large pot over medium heat. When butter is melted, add garlic. Cook for 1 minute. After cooking garlic, add chicken broth to the pot and bring to a boil. Once chicken broth is boiling, add angel hair pasta. Cook pasta until done then lower heat and let simmer until most of the broth has evaporated. Turn heat off and add whipping cream and parmesan cheese. Garnish with chopped parsley and serve

• Friday
  *Pulled Pork ChickenFor the pulled pork chicken I threw four chicken breasts in the crock pot with a whole container of BBQ sauce, a half can of cherry coke, and a 1/2 cup on brown sugar. I place it in the crock pot on low for about 5 hours. An hour before I served it I took the chicken out and shredded it with a fork and through it back in the crockpot til ready to serve.
• Saturday
  *FFYS (Fend for yourself aka leftovers)
• Sunday
  *Slow Cooker Easy French Dip Sandwiches:
  Ingredients:
  2-3 pound roast (either beef or pork)
  2 cans (14 1/2 ounces each) beef consomme 
  6-8 buns
  Directions:
  Place roast in greased slow-cooker. Pour consomme over the top of the roast. Cook on low 8-11 hours or on high for 5-7 hours. Remove roast and save extra juice for dipping! With 2 forks, pull apart roast (when it is done, it should pull apart easily . . . almost fall apart). Serve meat on buns and use extra juice to dip sandwiches in.
  

I will update the cost of this menu in the next couple of days and it will depend on the staples you have and the meat. Of course if you find better deals or coupons you can save more. 

I hope this helps. If you have any ideas or suggestions, please let me know.  

*Coupon match ups are from http://www.couponing4charity.com/blog

Save money with Common Kindness and support Birthdays Made With Love Birthdays Made With Lov

Grocery List for Jan 11-18th

(Borrowed the picture from https://threebasicbees.files.wordpress.com)

Since one of my goals is to keep my blog updated, I have to start you off somewhere when it comes to shopping.

I have my menu ready to start on Sunday this week. The only reason I am starting it Sunday is because it is #5's birthday and the leftovers go with the rest of the week. 

I plan on doing my coupon shopping on Friday or early Saturday because I honestly do not know when else I am going to do it. I am trying to get you a week ahead.  If you coupon you don't know what is on sale the coming week so you can't plan a menu. My goal is to let you buy what's on sale this week, then I'll have a menu off of what you already have. Usually when you make your menu, you make a list of what you want then go buy it. Well, some of the items may not be on sale. If you do it this way, buy what's on sale, then I'll have a menu to go with you sale items. Saves times, money, and stress (Resolution 3 & 10)

Here is a printable list of everything you will need for my menu next week. Mind you this will feed a family of 5. Some of the things on my list you should have or you can substitute for. Like garlic cloves, just use powder. 

Here are the items on sale this week and where that I will be purchasing. If you follow Couponing 4 Charity, she has a whole list of items and the matching coupons.

Homeland

  Menu Items

• Ranch Style Beans 69¢
• Doritos Tortilla Chips 2/$5.00
• Best Choice Sugar $1.79 
• Blue Bonnet 79¢
• New York Texas Toast $2.29
• Pasta 99¢
• SATURDAY AND SUNDAY ONLY 
• Pork Steaks $2.49 lb
• 10lb Ground Beef 80% $3.49 lb
• Pork Should Roast $1.99 lb
• Tyson 5lb Party Wings $2.99
• Boneless Chicken Breast $1.99 lb
• Farmland Pork Saugage 99¢ (not on menu but on sell for 2 days)

  Coupon/Sale Items

• Baby Back Pork Ribs $2.99 lb
• Crab legs $12.99 lb
• Chicken of the Sea Tuna 69¢
• Hormel Chili $1.25
• Wishbone dressing 3/$5
• Bacon $2

Firelake

  Menu Items

• Cream of Chicken 89¢
• Shredded Cheese 2/$3.00

  Sale Items

• Kraft Sliced Cheese $3.99
• Bologna 99¢
• Donuts $1.50 bag
• Ketchup 99¢
• Del Monte Sauce 79¢
• Grape Jelly $1.89

Hope this helps. If you have any questions, please let me know. I will post my menu tomorrow for next week so you can see what you are buying for.

New Year's Resolutions

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and a safe and Happy New Year. 

With the New Year, always comes the resolutions. You know, the things we want to do different this year and we usually only remember them for the first two weeks of the year. I made a personal list that is only for my eyes. Things I want to work on that I don't care to share about myself to even my family. Hopefully "when" I change those things, they will notice. Then I have my regular list. That's the list I'm sharing with you! :)

If you follow me on Pinterest, most of my ideas are on my boards.

Here is my wonderful 2015 New Year's Resolutions:

1. Get more organized.
   If you are like me you have a snack drawer, that's empty; a school supplies/craft cabinet, that you can't find anything; and those extra closets that just have "extra" stuff in it. I feel like most the time we can't find anything. Of course, I mean my family can't find it. How much time and stress would that save me if someone else in my house could actually find something.
   Part of my organization will include not just "stuff" but myself as well. This will include menu planning each week, watch for those post. Plus organizing my coupons is a must. I have just let them get out of control.I have a cheat sheet for 40 days of Organization, which several of my plans are for "40 days" but it will probably take me 40 weeks.  So if my house is organized by October, that's not bad right? Just in time for the holidays and it's still in 2015. While I'm doing this...de-cluttering is involved.....
2. De-clutter my house.If you follow me on Facebook, you may have saw my post "40 bags in 40 days". It's basically for 40 days you fill up a bag. It can be a donation bag or a trash bag. It doesn't have to be a HUGE bag...just a bag. Easy enough right? This should be an easy task since both myself and #4 are huge pack rats. I plan to have a "garage sale" bag or box as well so we can have extra money for vacation this year.....
3. Save money.
   I know several of you have seen the 52 weeks of savings. I'm sure we're like most people and we get paid every 2 weeks. Well in one part of that savings plan,that would be putting a way $103 in one paycheck. Now I may not be like my fellow bloggers, but that's a lot for one paycheck. I'm going to revise the "52 weeks" to fit my budget. It may not add up to be $1000 but if I put away $200 this year, that would be awesome for me. I've started by throwing all my change into a jar that's hid in my closet (hey! I have kids!). I'm going to set a goal of how much to try to save each week and go from there. Watch for that post coming soon. I'll also being using coupons more and I want to take whatever I save X's 10% and put that away too. I don't want to just save money, I want to make more money this year without taking time away from my family.
4. Make more money.
   I'm kind of a crafty person so I've decided to start selling my crafts. Still haven't decided how that's going to go but stay tuned.
   Hobby Lobby is opening soon where I live. They maybe looking for a cake decorating instructor and I would love to do this again. #4 & #5 are older now and would probably enjoy this.
   Since I'm a blogger, I need to put it to better use....
5. Keep my blog updated
   What's the point of my blog if it's never updated.
6. Be more active spiritually
   We need to go back to church. #4 & #5 mention it to me all the time. If children want to be closer and learn more about God...I shouldn't stop them. Just another way to have something in common with my kids and spend more time with them....
7. Spend more time with my kids...
   Other than in sports or PTO. I volunteer... A LOT. I have a non-profit organization, secretary for Indian Parent Committee, PTO Member, and coach little league. Though this does include my children and time with them, is also includes other children. My children do enjoy most of my volunteering. For Christmas we made stockings for children in foster care and delivered them on Christmas Eve. The younger ones enjoyed being "Santa's helper". 
   For his birthday last week, #4 received a board game from his friend. We sat down and played it...and had fun. I've tried the board game thing before and it didn't work. Gonna try this again.
   I want to be more active with them too...
8. Get in shape
   As crazy as it sounds, this is another way to spend more time with my kiddos. Thanksgiving 2013, myself,  #4 & #5 ran a 5k. They LOVED it. So as I'm losing those 20lbs..we can loose it together. They love to run, go hiking, ride bikes, go skating, and exercise (I have weird boys...ok!) 
9. Yell less and be more calm with my kids.
   Yes, I'm a yeller. Can't help it. I'm too lazy to walk in the house to find you. It's just easier for me. But this year I want to Yell Less. If they don't hear me the first time (which I still haven't figured out how they miss it), continue on and have them miss out. You really can't miss it if I yell at you for something other than you are just flat ignoring me. I do have a rule in my house...If I yell for you...don't yell back at me. Stop what you are doing, physically walk into the room I'm at, and answer; what, yes, huh...whatever. That way we're all not yelling at each other in house, it's just me yelling.
   I don't tolerate smart mouths or laziness from my kids. I'm not saying I don't get it, everyday, I just don't tolerate it. #3 and I go round and round about this. He believes he does everything in the house and that he can talk to me however he wants. He's my SS so I'm just the caregiver I guess...wrong. I believe in 'Spare the rod, spoil the child'. I will bust their buns in a heart beat, whether the other parent approves or likes it or not. I'm the one caring for them. If we're out and my children are acting a fool, you have my permission to get on to them or whip that butt if needed. I work PT retail, and can't stand when parents let their children run buck wild.
   Way off subject there...Anyways
   I started getting right at my children's level and whispering or talking low to them to stop or whatever they are getting in trouble for.
   So far this year (the whole 7 days) I have NOT yelled a child......
10. Be more happy
    Keys to happiness....
    1. Less stress...(See resolutions 1,2, & 9)
    2. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. (Thanks Elle!)
    3. Be happy and grateful for what I have. This should be a number all by its self and include my children. But I only wanted to list 10 things.

Ten resolutions. That's all. Doesn't seem like much but let's see how it goes. 

I would love to hear some of your resolutions and your tricks or success stories. What do you have planned this year?